A Comprehensive Examination of Climate Change Dynamics
An extensively-researched study of root causes and potential solutions.
Rule of Three typically shies away from covering serious, global issues, but there has been a clamor (alright, clamor perhaps overstates the level of advice offered to the Rule of Three team - it’s more akin to the insistent whisper of the disembodied voice in Field of Dreams, which urged the Iowa farmer, Ray, to plow under his cornfield, and build a baseball field, indicating that, “If you build it, he will come.”) for us to cover more meaningful topics in this space. And, we accept the responsibility for using this platform to educate readers about this important issue. Although much has been written about climate change in recent years, we feel that we should add our voice, and perspective to this important issue facing mankind.
In order to properly frame the discussion, it’s important to identify the primary contributors to the problems our planet faces today. Some have branded the overarching issue “global warming;” global warming is certainly a key element of climate change, but I think we need to also consider. . .
I’m sorry, I don’t know where that image came from. As I was beginning to say, global warming absolutely plays a role in the climate change tableau, but there’s more to it - as global population has increased, there is. . .
University of Kansas Fight Song
Again, my apologies, there appears to be some sort of rogue editor at work here, in which images and other content are randomly inserted into the middle of this serious, scholarly piece. But, back to the critical issue which we are discussing here: climate change has, of late, become a hot topic in academic research circles - in fact, in a recent study, published by. . .
Alright, now I’m becoming a bit annoyed. Yes, the University of Kansas Jayhawks mounted an historic comeback in the 2022 Final Four championship game, and edged the North Carolina Tarheels to take the title - very impressive indeed. But, a game of basketball pales in comparison to the . . .
Oh, for Chrissake! We’re trying to conduct a serious examination here of the existential threat our planet faces in. . .
Can we please stop this intrusion into what might be the single most critical issue of our time? Yes, Dr. James Naismith, the inventor of the game of basketball, and, incidentally, the only University of Kansas head basketball coach who possesses a losing record, was certainly an important figure in history, but, I believe that even Dr. Naismith would agree that if left unchecked, climate change could have a severe impact upon. . .
Hmm. . .I suppose I should just give up on this piece, eh? And allow the forces of nature to take over our planet, as reflected in the picture atop this column? But, I will not do that; this issue is too important to the future of civilization. In fact, consider the case of Miami, which is the hub of many of Americans’ favorite pastimes, such as. . .
That’s it, I’m going to call-in the Rule of Three tech support team - I’m sure they can update our virus software, and stop this hostile takeover. . .
You know, I kinda’ saw this coming, this “Jayhawk Apocalypse.” Good thing I’m prepared - quick, everyone - single-file - let’s move quickly into the panic-room I have prepared for us - don’t worry, there’s plenty of flashlights, and cans of Dinty Moore Beef Stew, and Mad Libs, which will keep us entertained for hours. Step lively, watch out for the. . .
That’s it, I’ve had it - I give up - they win. . .
ROCK CHALK, JAYHAWK, KU!
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