Lake Superior State University (LSSU), located in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula
(U.P.) city of Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, has provided a valuable public service to us all, for many years, by publishing a list of words (and, phrases) which should be forever banished from use in the English language. They have published this list every December 31st, since 1976. They perform this task not only out of the goodness of their heart, but also because it’s really, really cold in the U.P., and I have to imagine that this project is mostly inside work.
LSSU’s criteria is that these words (and, phrases) must be banished due to misuse, overuse, and uselessness (yes, I too admire the “three-ness” inherent in the cadence of their criteria - thanks for noticing). Their most recent list of ten nominees was provided to us on December 31, 2021, and included:
Supply chain - the first imperative, when faced with a problem, is to line up the excuses. In 2020, the over-arching excuse provided in any situation was, “Due to COVID. . .” As 2021 slogged-on, that excuse began to wear thin (even though the COVID crisis continues to this day), but, waiting in the wings, much like the New Year’s baby in a diaper (with, “Supply Chain” lettered on his sash), to replace the white-haired, old man on his way out (his sash reflected, “COVID”), was, “Due to supply chain issues. . .” I miss the good old days, when things like missing homework could be blamed on the dog, or a spilled beverage, or a bratty, little sister (I made that last one up - I can’t recall ever blaming missing homework on my bratty, little sister. . .er, sorry, my delightful, younger sister).
New normal - for all of us, the last two years have felt anything but normal, so, yes, I agree, this now ubiquitous phrase has become quite cloying. For many of us, the new normal has come to mean lounging in sweats on the couch, while eating Cheetos - I don’t know about you, but that sounds A-OK to me.
That being said - there is a touch of condescension in this phrase which is reminiscent of Will Ferrell’s character, Ricky Bobby, in Talladega Nights, when he says, “With all due respect. . ,” Try it out in a sentence: “That being said, it’s difficult for me to endorse your job-search strategy of lounging in sweats on the couch, while eating Cheetos.” See - condescending, no?
Deep dive - unless you’re Jacque Cousteau (no, not Inspector Clouseau - that’s a whole different character), this phrase should not be used.
At the end of the day - in my opinion, the only sensible component which should appear “at the end of the day” is a tumbler of high-priced, single-malt scotch, swirling around a single, large cube of ice. This particular phrase has always grated on me, and not just because I have heard it uttered by English acquaintances, more than once (Ed. note: Please know that Rule of Three intends no offense (if we truly meant it, we would have typed, “offence,” rather than “offense”) to the English people, or to the Royal Family, or to fish-and-chips purveyors - Rule of Three is now, and has always been a big fan of all things English, and does not find English accents to be the least bit annoying, and akin to the sound of fingernails scraping down a chalkboard - there, that ought to satisfy the attorneys).
Circle back - this one was popularized by Biden’s White House Press Secretary, Jen Psaki, and has likely spawned a meme (although, let’s face it, no meme can ever top the “Bundled-up Bernie” meme - that is an all-timer, in my book, and not a bad name for a band - another great name for a band: “The Memes”).
No worries - when someone tells me “no worries,” I know it’s time to worry - I think what they’re really saying is that it is of no consequence to them, although it is vitally important to me - they simply don’t care.
You’re on mute - I agree that this phrase has become well-used, but I contend that it’s entirely useful. Let’s face it, Zoom calls have become part of the “new normal” (uggh!), and will likely continue to be a part of our daily operations going forward, even as we are allowed to meet in-person once again. And, we’re going to need to use this admonition to allow “that guy” back into the conversation (and, don’t pretend that you’ve never been that guy - I know you have, because I’ve been ”that guy” on occasion, and I’ve seen you there too). Geez, if we’re going to banish “you’re on mute,” we might as well ban, “hey, your fly’s undone,” or “you spilled spaghetti sauce on your shirt,” or “you ran Grandma over with your car. . .again” - I overshared there, didn’t I?
Asking for a friend - I know I’ve seen this one quite a bit, but I’m not convinced that it’s achieved a level of overuse yet. Perhaps I’ll feel differently as the December 31, 2022 list is being prepared. Plus, I think that, when placed properly, and with appropriate comedic timing, it’s a smart and funny retort.
Wait, what? - I’m not ready to give this one up just now. Much as “asking for a friend,” I think a well-placed, “wait, what?” can be quite effective. Maybe the team at LSSU is simply not doing it right. Imagine if you will the following exchange taking place somewhere in the U.P.:
(U.P. Resident #1) “Say, Bob, is that Eddie out there on the ice, fishing? You know, from the mill - second shift?”
(U.P. Resident #2) “I don’t know, Tom, I thought Eddie drives an F-150, and that appears to be a Silverado parked next to his shanty.”
(U.P. Resident #1) “Yeah, you’re probably right - say, I wonder if there’s a prostitute working out there in that shanty right now.”
(U.P. Resident #2) “Wait, what?”
(Ed. note: Although clearly, the use of the phrase, “wait, what?” in the above exchange didn’t deliver the comedic punch required, the problem might also lie with an obscure reference to a recent news story, which, although fresh, and definitely amusing, didn’t actually occur in the U.P., but rather in a city in northeast Ohio - link to the story attached here. . .)
Well, that concludes my analysis of LSSU’s December 31, 2021 list of nominees of words (and, phrases) for banishment from use in the English language. As I take a look at my watch, it appears as if it’s time to prepare a tumbler of high-priced, single-malt scotch, swirling around a single, large cube of ice - you know, because it’s “at the end of the day.” “Wait, what?” It’s only 11:00 a.m.? Well, perhaps this could become my “new normal,” replacing my lounging in sweats on the couch, while eating Cheetos - I’m just “asking for a friend.”
Are there words (and, phrases) which you earnestly believe should be retired from use? Well, don’t tell me - share it with LSSU. And, don’t think of suggesting that “Great name for a band” should be retired - I plan on returning to that chestnut time and again for many years.
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