Major League Baseball players have developed a tradition of striding to the plate from the on-deck circle for their turn at bat accompanied by a song which they have adopted as their personal musical introduction: their very own, “walk-up music.” This music is intended to reinforce their personal brand - yes, I know baseball is a team sport, but, given the enormous salaries these players are banking, and the opportunities to attract additional ridiculous sums of money in sponsorship deals, growing and maintaining their personal brand is critical.
In researching this topic, I turned to, athlonsports.com, which had published a piece entitled, “75 Best Baseball Walk-Up Songs of All Time.” As I perused the list, for which they ranked the top twenty-five songs, and then added bonus content of the next fifty, I recognized only two songs in the list of twenty-five: the Circle of Life introduction, from The Lion King, which appears to be more African tribal chant than music to my ear; and Sinatra’s Fly Me to the Moon, which I dig, but which seems to be a pretty laid-back soundtrack to prepare to do battle at the plate. Now, in fairness, as an older guy whose connection to popular music dates back many years, I didn’t expect to recognize all of these songs, but, if I were approaching the plate right now, my statistics would reflect a batting average of .080 - well below the Mendoza line. Even in my popular-music-appreciation-prime, I didn’t spend much time absorbing 1980’s hair band music, and I think I only ever owned one black t-shirt, so my street-cred regarding these anthem-rock tunes is not exactly tip-top.
There were a few more songs I recognized from the “Next 50” list, including, Survivor’s, Eye of the Tiger; The Beatles, Come Together; Wild Thing; George Thorogood’s, Bad to the Bone; Queen’s, We Will Rock You; Start Me Up, from the Rolling Stones; and Earth, Wind and Fire’s, Shining Star.
These lists are lacking a few obvious candidates for inclusion:
John Fogerty’s, Centerfield, could have been Joe Dimaggio’s walk-up anthem, had such a thing existed in his day; Centerfield is not to be confused with, Centerfold, by the J. Geils Band, which also could have been Joe D.’s musical introduction, given his brief marriage to movie star, and celebrated pin-up girl, Marilyn Monroe; also, there’s, Mrs. Robinson, by Simon & Garfunkel, which calls out Joltin’ Joe by name - jiminy Christmas! Is every song ever produced specifically geared for personal use by this iconic center-fielder for the Yankees?
Theme from Rocky (a/k/a Gonna’ Fly Now) - perhaps this one brings with it too much pressure to perform - you know, the fate of the free world, defeating Russia, preserving the relationship with Adrian - and, the brand associated with this song is more, “palooka,” than swaggering baseball-player.
Rock and Roll (Part 2), by Gary Glitter has become an anthem in sports stadiums and arenas all over the United States, intended to inspire fans to rise up and support even bottom-dwelling teams, with its memorable lyrics comprised exclusively of, “Hey!” Maybe “Hey!” doesn’t pack enough of a marketing punch for these high-priced athletes - I bet Jon Hamm’s Don Draper character in Mad Men could make something out of this, though.
I believe that we office-dwellers should adopt a similar walk-up song strategy, particularly as it pertains to presentations and meetings. Which begs the question: What songs are best-positioned to reinforce your personal brand, and to properly tee-up the meeting or presentation at hand?
Herewith are some suggestions:
Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ - although some might scoff at the double-negative construction of this song title, you can’t argue with the exhortation to believe - that’s positivity, man!
Bruce Springsteen’s Born to Run - use of this big hit from the 1980’s suggests action - corporate honchos love action, even if it’s misdirected action.
John Lennon’s Imagine - vision is a big thing with many organizations - this song implores the listener to envision a more collaborative future - the only things missing from this song for large corporations are: any mention of capital appreciation, profits, or product-line extensions, all of which I’m pretty sure Lennon eschewed - other than that, it’s perfect.
Some options you might want to stay away from:
Johnny Paycheck’s Take This Job and Shove It - my advice is that you step back and take a breath if this is an option you are seriously considering; the message delivered by this song is not really subject to interpretation.
Shania Twain’s Man! I Feel Like a Woman! - although I like this song, I caution you not to deploy it, unless, you know, you’re actually a woman, or in the process of transitioning.
Paul Desmond’s Take Five - Desmond’s timeless classic (those of you who are familiar with this song will understand the witty repartee I have just engaged in here with myself), written in 5/4 time, and which he performed roughly 400,000 times during his days with Dave Brubeck, certainly represents innovation (good), but, let’s face it, “Take five” has a certain relaxed, lack of urgency connotation in the workplace, embraced by slackers (bad).
Now that I’ve prepared you to triumphantly enter the conference room, it’s time for you to take control of the group assembled there - a well-placed catchphrase is just the thing to help you do that. Some of the catchphrases that stick out in my mind include:
“Danger, Will Robinson,” said repeatedly by the Robot character in Lost in Space - to those of us of a certain age (and, with way too much TV under our belt), this phrase has become a popular way to alert another to impending danger.
“Go ahead, make my day” - this phrase, pitched by Clint Eastwood’s character, Harry Callahan, in the movie Sudden Impact, is truly badass - I believe the moral of this one is that Harry would be delighted if he could blow the perp’s head off in the diner, but in order to do that, the perp would have to commit an egregious act first, preserving the moral high ground for Harry - a sound lesson for us all, echoed by Sylvester Stallone’s character, John Rambo, in First Blood.
“I know nothing” - Sergeant Schultz, in Hogan’s Heroes, mutters this phrase when he doesn’t want to get involved in something, or to admit to knowing something - ignorance is bliss.
Before we review viable catchphrase options for your use, I believe it would be useful to share some of the “also-rans,” - those catchphrases of which you should probably steer clear. These alternatives should be studiously avoided:
“Who do you have to sleep with to get a scone around here?” - in the hypersensitive societal environment in which we now find ourselves, this one displays an utter lack of sensitivity to such significant issues as: unwanted sexual advances; perceived bullying and harassing behavior; and endorsement of nutritionally inadequate snacking options - best to stay away from this one.
“Is this anything?” - this phrase, uttered while pointing to a blemish or abnormality on your body, is not the stellar conversation-starter that it appears to be at first blush.
“Hello Losers” - use of this admittedly powerful greeting should not be deployed by rank amateurs - it should only be utilized by professionals, who do not have an issue with their status as serial-Rule No. 2 violators.
Permit me to interject a minor personal observation here - my current departmental management-team of three, I’ve noticed, have each adopted a catchphrase which quite nicely bookends our day:
My catchphrase, which is best served first thing in the morning, is, “Are you ready for action?” I’ve found that this question typically stumps the panel, precisely because it is so nebulous, prompting responses such as, “What action specifically?” By the way, it’s intended as a rhetorical question; I’m not really seeking a specific answer. It’s cousin is the ever-popular, “How are you doing?” (I don’t really want to know how you are).
One of my colleagues is extremely committed to his noon lunchtime; he’s quite reliable, in that he is not to be found at his desk at 12:01 p.m., because, as he says, “A man’s gotta’ eat!”
The third member of this august group has long lobbed, “Thanks for coming in today,” at me and others, as we depart the office at the end of the day - a nice, familiar way to end the workday.
Now, on to catchphrase options which I have experienced in real life, and which you may wish to consider for your own personal use:
“If ya’ cain’t measure it, it ain’t happenin’” (Translation from Texas slang to recognizable English: “If you are unable to measure something, it is unlikely to be achieved.”) - A former colleague of mine from years ago (a one-armed operations professional, who was also a pretty good golfer), who originally hailed from Texas, repeated this dictum many times. A more eloquent form of this phrase might be, “What gets measured, gets managed,” which is attributed to management guru Peter Drucker, but I prefer the homespun version from my friend.
“x$&*#%@^(#$&*($#*)#@!^&$%*(#$%^@$^%&!” - this is my clumsy attempt to transcribe the motivational teachings of a deceased, longtime newspaper industry leader, for whom I had the misfortune of working some years ago. His primary management tools were anger and intimidation, and he wielded them consistently, liberally peppering his discussions with managers and staffers with four-letter words and epithets. I’m not suggesting any of that makes sense in the workplace, although occasional profanity can be an effective tool in order to make a point.
Finally, another homespun bit of wisdom, this from a former manager from Arkansas, who concluded staff meetings by looking around the conference room table, and, detecting silence, indicating that, “Well, I guess it’s time to call in the dogs, and piss on the fire.” For those of you not familiar with homespun Arkansas wisdom, that meant that the meeting was adjourned.
For those of you considering entering your next conference room meeting armed with your chosen walk-up music blaring from your smartphone, I would suggest to you that it’s OK if you simply have that song blaring in your head, and not emanating from your phone. And, when the meeting is over, be ready to call in the dogs, and, you know. . .