They walk among us. People dressed in mostly feline-themed costumes descend upon the city of Pittsburgh each year around the Fourth of July, and participate in parades, river cruises (Pittsburgh has three rivers after all) and dance competitions. An estimated fifteen thousand “furries” attended this annual event, called “Anthrocon,” a couple of weeks ago.
Furries, for the uninitiated, are humans who dress in complete “fursuits” (examples in the picture atop this column), or deploy some portion of the fursuit - e.g. a fursuit head, or top, paired with jeans, or simply ears or a tail, accessorized with a Louis Vuitton handbag and a pair of stiletto heels (sorry, I got carried away - I thought we were talking about preparing for Paris Fashion Week). The cost of these fursuits can begin at $500, and may command as much as $10,000, pricing out some furry enthusiasts.
You may be asking, about now, who are these furries, and what do they stand for? And, because every poll conducted these days seems to be focused on the upcoming U.S. presidential election, who do they plan to vote for in November? And, if a fellow furry is dressed in a dog-themed fursuit, will there be a skirmish? Well, according to them.us, a furry is someone who has a strong interest in humanoid animals. Say what, now? Humanoid animals? That’s a bit of contradiction in terms, no?
Furries sometimes create a “fursona,” a non-human character used to represent themselves to the world, like an avatar. The website points out that furries do not consider themselves to be actual animals. Whew, that’s a relief. No, those people are known as “otherkins” or “therians”; we will not be covering that subculture in this column - that’s too weird, man.
The furry community (a phrase I never envisioned writing) is apparently committed to diversity, equity and inclusion, a concept embraced within the last couple of years more globally, and just as quickly jettisoned by corporations, governments and GOP candidates for office; note, however, that the furries have not dismissed this plank in their platform. One study suggested that more than 70% of furries identify as LGBTQ+. Well, that’s two specific communities covered by this subset of people - as you might expect, we here at Rule of Three prefer that community memberships attached to people number more than two, and less than four - perhaps furries are also members of the philatelist community to a greater extent than the general population? (FYI, a philatelist is a postage stamp enthusiast, and expends time and energy collecting and displaying stamps - it is not a term used to describe a sexual activity in which Bill Clinton engaged, in the Oval Office, in case you were wondering). Furries, according to research conducted by furscience.com, are bullied at nearly double the rate of non-furries - perhaps part of the issue is that it’s difficult to run away from trouble in those bulky, furry costumes.
Speaking of the costumes, I’m not sure who thought it was a good idea to gather in Pittsburgh around the Fourth of July (the average temperature during the Anthrocon event this year was seventy-nine degrees); participating in parades, river cruises and dance competitions while garbed in a heavy fur costume in 79-degree weather seems a bit wrong-headed, from a sweat-drenched body prevention perspective.
Some furry literature (that’s right, another phrase I did not see coming) aims to dispel common misconceptions laypeople have about furries - for instance, the belief that furries have demanded that litter boxes be provided in schools and in other locations, such that furries could perform appropriate anthropomorphic activities in them. Or, that furries don fursuits to entice others to have sex with them in furry regalia. Or, that there is a pornography subgenre dedicated to “furry sex”; well, that last one is true, apparently - the Rule of Three market research team is dedicated to its craft, but, absolutely drew the line on conducting that research - we’ll just have to trust other professionals who claim to have performed that research task.
It’s tempting to believe that furries are merely exercising their right to dress themselves in a costume, to play a character very different from themselves, much as children (and, some misguided adults) do on Halloween, or as part of the Mardi Gras bacchanalia. But, it seems a bit deeper than that, an attempt to demonstrate their affinity for, and identification with animals, and to highlight what they believe to be human characteristics in those animals. I suspect that some of those human characteristics include: social media trolling, bingeing Netflix series and paying $1,200 apiece for tickets to a Taylor Swift concert.
Not having availed ourselves of the opportunity to interview actual furries when they were in town, Rule of Three nonetheless has developed a set of three questions which would have formed the crux of such an interview, including: That thing about litter boxes - that’s not really true, right? Did you drive yourself here, or did you take the bus? Did you get a picture of yourself with the Mazeroski statue outside PNC Park?
How about you? Do you have questions you would have posed to furries if you had the opportunity? Please share your interview questions in the comments section below. We don’t intend to execute furry interviews any time soon, but, as you know, Rule No. 3 stipulates, “Amuse yourself,” and, what better way to accomplish that task than to develop furry questions? Just, you know, don’t ask about “furry porn” - nobody wants to have that vision stuck in their heads.
A very important anthropomorphic activity to be performed by furries is to subscribe now to Rule of Three - simply click the button below - it's free, man!
I learned something today. Now I know all about furries.