After having cut-and-pasted the Venn diagram above, I quickly realized that I have rendered the need for this week’s column irrelevant; the graphic pretty succinctly describes the relationship between the homophone, the homograph and the homonym - no further explanation is required.
But, I have nothing else prepared for this week’s column, and if I don’t hit the “publish” button on Saturday, pretty much nothing happens and nobody cares. So, you can see why I must press on.
The team here at Rule of Three is unimpressed with homonyms which only perform double-duty; obviously, those “triple threats” are the ones which we feel are truly deserving of praise.
And, because we are loathe to reinvent the wheel, we navigated to canofworms.com, which, fourteen years ago published a list of forty-nine such homonyms which sound the same but are spelled differently; according to our Venn diagram above, these are technically known as homophones. In the interest of interactivity, the team at Rule of Three’s Gamification Division have constructed the following quiz, which prompts you with the first of the three words included in the homophone bundle, and requires you to complete the thread with the missing two elements. What do you say? Would you like to have a go at it?
Sent, ________, ________.
Site, ________, ________.
Raise, ________, ________.
Rapped, ________, ________.
Pair, ________, ________.
Mall, ________, ________.
Way, ________, ________.
Pore, ________, ________.
Heir, ________, ________.
Sees, ________, ________.
There, ________, ________.
You, ________, ________.
Road, ________, ________.
Rain, ________, ________.
Peak, ________, ________, ________. (That’s right, there are four words here - extra credit if you are able to list all of them.)
Now, don’t glance downward to view the answer key - that would be cheating. Here are a few pictures of cute puppies, inserted to create some space between the quiz and the answer key. . .
Alright, enough already - this column isn’t about puppies, you know.
Answer Key
Sent, Scent, Cent.
Site, Sight, Cite.
Raise, Rays, Raze.
Rapped, Wrapped, Rapt.
Pair, Pare, Pear.
Mall, Maul, Moll. (This one pushes the boundaries of rhyming a bit. In my opinion, “Moll” isn’t an exact phonetic match of the other two, but, in answer to your question, I offer no grading relief here, if you missed this one.)
Way, Weigh, Whey.
Pore, Pour, Poor.
Heir, Air, Err.
Sees, Seas, Seize.
There, Their, They’re.
You, Ewe, Yew.
Road, Rode, Rowed.
Rain, Reign, Rein.
Peak, Peek, Pique, Peke. (Yes, this is the only one reflecting four words, but, I gotta’ say, “Peke” seems a bit obscure to me - the online dictionaries indicate that it is an acknowledged informal term for a Pekingese breed of dog. Now, I’ve never attended a Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, but I have seen the 2000 film Best in Show, which hilariously spoofs prestigious dog shows, and I cannot recall one mention in the movie of “Pekes.” Again, no scoring relief offered here.)
Scoring Grid
Homophone Master: 25-36 points (out of a possible 36 total points: 31 missing words, plus 5 bonus points for identifying all four of the “Peak” category words.) - congratulate yourself on your mastery of the English language.
Marginally Familiar with the English Language: 15-24 points - C’mon, did you really put your best foot forward on this quiz? I honestly expected more of you. Perhaps you’d have performed better on the “Cute Puppies Quiz.”
Maybe English is Not for You: 5-14 points - If you scored in this range, I have to believe that, either English is not your primary language, in which case, I understand, but I nonetheless remain committed to publishing Rule of Three in English; or, you were sick that day in third grade, when Miss Huck reviewed common homophones with the class; or, you spent your entire academic career eating paste (which, if you attended a Big Ten university, or one of the Ivies, might have been awkward); or, maybe you’re more of a right-brained person than a left-brained person (or, is it the other way around? I honestly cannot remember).
I Can’t Work Under These Conditions: 0-4 points - I mean, the Rule of Three Gamification Division worked overtime to develop this quiz, in an attempt to breathe fresh life into an admittedly pretty dry topic, and this is the thanks we get? It almost makes us want to pack up our things and go home.
So, either congratulations are in order to you, or scorn, for your performance on the quiz. Either way, Rule of Three thanks you for your participation in the homophone quiz. And remember: Vive Trois! (That means “Long Live Three!) We bid you adieu.
If you performed excellently on the quiz, you'll want to subscribe in order to be able to participate in the next challenge. And, if you performed badly on the quiz, you'll want to subscribe in order to sharpen your skills - simply type your email address below - it's free, man! Unless you choose to join Rule of Three in its extremely modest (and, overly complicated) effort to make a difference, by supporting the nonprofit organization of your choice (Note: After completing your subscription, please email us at: ruleofthreebs@gmail.com, indicating the name of the organization to which you wish to contribute, and a website address for them).
Great piece, Bill. I'm not a humorist but the first two paragraphs of this piece seem to me to be rather perfectly executed. And kudos to the gamification division--this is the way of the future.
My third grade class collected homonyms. There was one student who everyone, even at age 8, realized was seriously smart. He presented the class with humerous (i.e. arm bone) and humorous (like ha ha funny). Shortly after this impressive feat he was promoted to fourth grade. The popular opinion was that he had two brains, which made sense since his head was quite large.