Nicknaming Conventions

Unspoken rules governing the deployment of nicknames.

Ed. note: Although the concept of an actual convention devoted to the topic of nicknames sounds delightful, we feel it necessary to point out that the aim of this column is to describe common attributes of nicknames; there is no gathering planned for Las Vegas, or Atlantic City or Miami. So, stow your joy buzzers and water balloons and exploding cans of nuts, with pretend snakes inside - man, I gotta’ quit watching The Honeymooners reruns.

Arthur Fonzarelli, a character in the 1970’s TV sitcom, Happy Days, which was set in the 1950’s, was cool. The character, known as “Fonzie,” was a biker, clad in a black leather jacket, whose catchphrase was, “Sit on it!” and also delivered the classic “Ayyyy,” while offering a thumbs-up, no doubt inspiring the photo ops of future presidents and the development of emojis.

Fonzie wasn’t the only nickname deployed on Happy Days. No, there was Fonzie’s onetime girlfriend, Carol “Pinky” Tuscadero (so named, presumably, because she dressed all in pink), and also a close friend of the main character, Richie Cunningham named Warren “Potsie” Weber; Potsie was characterized by Wikipedia as “. . .being not very bright, somewhat gullible, socially clumsy, and in modern hindsight, very ‘square,’. . .” Apparently his nickname was bestowed upon him by his mother, because, as a young boy he liked to make things out of clay. Nope, not cool, man!

The subject of nicknames struck me, because Emily and I discussed Warren Buffett in a recent Secure a Beverage podcast episode, and I mistakenly referred to Buffett as the “Sage of Omaha,” neglecting a core principle of nickname development, which is the use of alliteration. Buffett’s acknowledged nickname is the “Oracle of Omaha,” owing to his long history of dispensing sage investing advice, all the while residing in Omaha, Nebraska. Yes, I know that I used the word “sage” in the sentence in which I was rejecting use of the term “sage” - almost makes your head explode, no?

Can you identify other effective applications of this alliteration device regarding nicknames? Rule of Three’s Alliterative Nickname Research department is able to provide us with a few examples, including;

• “Splendid Splinter” - this was a nickname affixed to one of Major League Baseball’s (“MLB’s”) greatest hitters ever: Ted Williams. Williams not only led the league in batting average, but he also amassed a greater than average number of nicknames, including: “The Kid,” “The Thumper” and “Teddy Ballgame.” I think Williams likely preferred “Teddy Ballgame” over the others; we might get the opportunity to ask Ted himself someday, as he had his head and his body (separately) cryogenically frozen, in the hope that, at some point in the future, he can be reconnected and reanimated.

• “Manassa Mauler” - boxer Jack Dempsey, who hailed from Manassa, Colorado (I know, I’ve never heard of that place, either) was labeled the “Manassa Mauler” - nice alliteration, right?

• “Brown Bomber” - another heavyweight boxer, Joe Louis, earned the title the “Brown Bomber.” I suppose if you’re going to climb into a boxing ring and trade punches with another palooka, you might as well have a cool nickname.

• “Galloping Ghost” - Harold “Red” Grange was a halfback who played football with the University of Illinois and then the Chicago Bears, in the early days of the NFL. Grange already had a nickname (“Red”), but a sportswriter determined that he needed a more colorful one, I guess (what nickname is more “colorful” than “Red”? Whitey? Blackie?). I can imagine that Grange became “Red,” because he likely had red hair, and the “Galloping Ghost” seemed to imply that he was fast, and thus couldn’t be seen. His other nickname, the “Wheaton Ice Man,” surfaced because he delivered ice in Wheaton, Illinois, in order to make extra money - sometimes the easiest explanation is the right one.

• “Leo the Lip” - longtime, successful MLB manager, Leo Durocher, spent time during his playing days in the 1930’s with the St. Louis Cardinals, who themselves were nicknamed “The Gashouse Gang” (also an alliterative appellation), a nod to their shabby, unwashed appearance, and scrappy playing style. Leo, whose combative persona earned him 100 ejections from baseball games, was tagged with the appropriate nickname, “Leo the Lip.”

• “Whizzer White” - in the history of the U.S. Supreme Court, Byron “Whizzer” White is likely the only jurist sporting a cool nickname, although if there’s another Supreme Court Justice who might have acquired a few choice nicknames in his younger years, the smart money is on Brett Kavanaugh (“I like beer!”). White earned his nickname, due to his speed and agility on the football field, at the University of Colorado - man, that’s a relief - I’m glad it had nothing to do with late-night hijinks with his Phi Gamma Delta brothers.

Yes, sports has gifted us with many colorful nicknames, not all of them adhering to the alliteration rule. Undoubtedly, you are familiar with George Herman “Babe” Ruth, arguably one of the greatest baseball players of all time. His nickname, “Babe” surfaced when the owner of the first minor league baseball team he played for had to become Ruth’s legal guardian, as Babe was only nineteen years old at the time. And, no, Reggie Jackson, there was no candy bar named after Babe Ruth - that candy bar was named after President Grover Cleveland’s daughter, who was born between his two terms in the White House. Babe could have also been included in the alliteration list above, as an ancillary nickname of his was the “Sultan of Swat.”

Other well-known nicknames include: “Iron Horse,” attached to Babe Ruth’s teammate, Lou Gehrig (he held the record for most consecutive MLB games played, for a very long time); professional football player, Bronislau “Bronko” Nagurski (with that spelling, probably not named for a horse); “Buffalo Bill” (famous bison hunter, William F. Cody); “King of Pop” (Michael Jackson, superstar musical performer in the 1980’s); “Elvis the Pelvis,” or the “King of Rock and Roll” (Elvis Presley, naturally); the “Bard of Avon” (William Shakespeare - a bard is a skilled poet - I suppose Shakespeare hit that mark); “Honest Abe” (U.S. president Abraham Lincoln - I thought Washington was the one who could not tell a lie - wait, which one allegedly cut down a cherry tree? Man, I’m really confused here); “Ike” (U.S. president Dwight D. Eisenhower, whose cool nickname lent itself quite readily to campaign posters: “I like Ike!”); and the “Iron Lady,” Margaret Thatcher (the first female U.K prime minister, who apparently possessed that British “stiff upper lip”).

Also, there was: “Prime Time” (famous, and outspoken football player, and now football coach, Deion Sanders); “Roger the Dodger” (football quarterback, Roger Staubach, famed for running away from defensive lineman to make a play); “Big Ben” (former Steelers quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, a hometown Pittsburgh favorite); “Flo-Jo” (U.S. sprinter, Florence Griffith Joyner - in order to encapsulate all her names, I would have crafted, “Flo-Gri-Jo,” but that’s just me); “Marvelous ‘Fill-in-the-Blank” (has been applied to at least two athletes with the name Marvin: boxer Marvin Hagler and baseball player Marv Throneberry); “Mr. October” (the above-mentioned Reggie Jackson, due to his World Series heroics in October (actually, the World Series now bleeds into November), and who actually did have a (extremely short-lived) candy bar named after him, demanding that he receive treatment equal to that of Babe Ruth, er. . .Ruth Cleveland); “Smokin’ Joe” (yet another boxer, Joe Frazier - apparently boxers cannot simply ply their trade - they must adopt a cool moniker); “The Golden Jet” (hockey’s Bobby Hull, so named because of his blazing speed on skates, powerful slapshot and striking blonde hair); and “The Rock,” a former WWE wrestler, who has morphed into an action movie hero, Dwayne Johnson.

Of course, George Costanza, a character on Seinfeld (geez, does this guy watch anything else on TV?) eagerly sought the nickname “T-Bone,” which would have been a cool nickname, but ended up with “Koko the Monkey” instead. I think we can agree that Koko the Monkey doesn’t have the same resonance as T-Bone - sorry, George.

Nicknames have also been the province of Mafia figures; the Mafia has demonstrated a particular flair regarding development of these nicknames. Some of the more well-known of these have included: Joseph “Joe Bananas” Bonnano; Tony “Big Tuna” Accardo; John “Johnny Sausage” Barbato; Pete “Pistol Pete” Rollack; Luigi “Baby Shacks” Mannochio; Angelo “Quack Quack” Ruggiero; Louis “Cock-Eyed Lou” Fratto; Frank “Fingers” Abbandando, Jr. (did his father sport the exact same nickname?); Anthony “Whack-Whack” Indelicato; Carmine “The Cigar” Galante; Albert “Tick-Tock” Tannenbaum; Louis “Louie Bagels” Daidone; Philip “Chicken Man” Testa; Peter “Horseface” Licavoli; Thomas “Tommy Sneakers” Cacciopoli; Jake “Greasy Thumb” Guzik; Harry “The Hump” Riccobene; Thomas “The Toupee” Bilotti; and Richard “Shellackhead” Cantarella.

As for me, nicknames I have received over the years have included: “Suds” (springing from my last name, apparently); “Spot” (don’t ask); “South” (for those fans of truncation); “Beans” (shorthand for “Beancounter,” a pejorative term for my chosen profession: accounting); and “BS” (self-inflicted, I suppose, because I use my initials as my email signature). None of these are as imaginative as the Mafia nicknames listed above, so I’m still on the lookout for a cool nickname - any suggestions? I’m also pleased that I never allowed my mom to provide me with a nickname - as we noted above, that didn’t work out so well for “Potsie.”

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