Reigning Cats and Dogs

The battle for U.S. household pet supremacy.

Cats and dogs are the undisputed leaders in terms of domestic pets residing in U.S. households; dogs outpace cats, as, according to forbes.com, over 65 million households own dogs, whereas just more than 46 million households contain cats. Many people own multiple dogs or cats - that same research indicates that the population of pet dogs approaches 89 million, and that the population of pet cats is more than 60 million.

But, that’s not the entire list. The “also-rans” include: freshwater fish (11 million households); “small animals” (including hamsters, gerbils, rabbits, guinea pigs, chinchillas, mice, rats and ferrets), which reside in 6.7 million households; birds (6.1 million households); reptiles (6 million households); and horses and saltwater fish, each appearing in 2.2 million households. Yes, there are a lot fewer of these pets out there, but I would argue that their presence is diluting the vote for the top two candidates - pay attention, 2024 GOP presidential candidates!

So, why have dogs and cats crested so far ahead of the pack? Permit me a couple of observations: given that fish reside in an aquarium or fishbowl of some sort, it’s a bit more complicated logistically to take your fish for a walk in the park; horses require more space than your average suburban home provides; and, chinchillas - really?

Also, dogs can be quite lovable; cats. . .well, I’m sure they have many fine qualities too. Let’s examine the dynamics driving these pet acquisition decisions - these issues include:

• Affection - certainly a primary goal in inviting a four-footed, non-verbal animal into your home is to secure a living being which will display affection toward you, and not spend time badgering you about cleaning-out the garage, or leaving the toilet-seat up, or going to the store to buy a new video-game. Dogs are said to be wired to provide “unconditional love;” cats appear to be indifferent, at best - advantage: Dogs.

• Source of eye-catching outerwear - Hello? 101 Dalmations? Ring a bell? Cruella DeVil envisioned a bold, fashion-forward fur coat design, which relied heavily upon the involvement of 99 Dalmation puppies. But, I’ve not been made aware of a similar, feline-centric design. Of course, chinchillas know a thing or two about fur coat design - advantage: Dogs.

  

• Cool vibe - I think we need look no further than the Sunday comics, in which Snoopy has been a staple for many years, in the Peanuts comic - Snoopy’s persona has been that of a cool dude, a nice counterpoint to his bumbling, round-headed owner, Charlie Brown. The Sunday comics package also includes Garfield, a lazy, mean-spirited cat who craves lasagna. Brian, the humanized cartoon character dog in Family Guy, also represents a polished, intelligent dog, who is partial to swilling martinis - advantage: Dogs.

  

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• Brave - Lassie is the prototypical brave and protective dog: she (although portrayed mostly by male dogs over the years) inevitably arrived to save the day, when Timmy found himself in hot water (although never in a well, contrary to popular opinion). And, the image of a St. Bernard with a brandy cask attached to his neck, rescuing a snowbound traveler (a myth created by a 19-century artist), is an enduring one - advantage: Dogs.

  

• Happy-go-lucky - those dogs you might associate with goofy, joyful behavior include: Astro, from The Jetsons (“Ruh-roh”); Marley, from Marley and Me; and Beethoven, the eponymous St. Bernard in the movie of the same name. Cats have their own significant entrants in this category: The Cat in the Hat; Hobbes, from Calvin & Hobbes; and Felix the Cat - advantage: call this one a draw.

• Adorable - given the plethora of amusing cat videos available on the internet, one might be hard-pressed to award the win in this category to dogs, but, bear with me for a moment. I submit for your approval: Benji, an irresistible mutt from a 1970’s movie; Stephen King’s Cujo (I’m kidding, that one belongs in the “terrifying” bucket); Lady and Tramp, from Lady and the Tramp (c’mon, the spaghetti-eating scene - it’s too cute by half); and Petey, from The Little Rascals (you know, with the eye-patch) - advantage: another draw.

  

• Adventurous - one could argue that Toto, Dorothy’s beloved Cairn Terrier in The Wizard of Oz, had quite an adventure. And, Scooby-Doo, the monster-hunting dog in the cartoon, Scooby-Doo, Where are You! was always on the job. Finally, reaching further back into the archives we find Rin-Tin-Tin, the German shepherd star of stage and screen - advantage: Dogs.

  

• Exercise - dogs must be walked regularly, whereas cats are not. Let’s face it, the underlying reason dogs are walked is to “do their business.” And, cats do their business in a litter box inside your house. So, yes, I suppose that dog-owning bestows upon its owner the opportunity to engage in a bit more exercise than a cat-owner enjoys. . .unless you count cleaning the litterbox as a cardiovascular activity. . .which I do - advantage: Dogs.

• Lounging - both cats and dogs are quite capable of lounging, whether in their respective pet beds, or on the couch (where they’re probably not allowed), or on the ample belly of their owner - this option affords the owner the added benefit of enjoying a nap he might not otherwise have realized - advantage: another draw.

• Sleeping - there is generally a very clear difference with this activity: dogs typically sleep at night, when humans do; cats, being nocturnal, not so much. My advice to you cat-owners out there: Establish your cat as an outdoor cat - send him outdoors as you prepare for bed - he’ll be there on your doorstep in the morning, and he will not have marched across your face in the middle of the night - advantage: Dogs.

• Hunting - dogs pretend to be hunters; cats are the real deal. There were numerous mornings when we owned a cat, during which not only was the cat perched on the doorstep in the morning, but also a bird, or mouse, or some other hunting victim displayed right next to him (dead, of course), with the proud hunter beseeching you to admire his prey - advantage: Cats.

• Dining - meals prepared for dogs last approximately twelve seconds - they typically attack their bowl of food as if they had not eaten in four days, and, they are ready at a moment’s notice to scarf down any stray piece of food left unattended. Cats, on the other hand, appear quite nonchalant about mealtime: “I might nibble on that. . .in a bit. . .or, I might not” - advantage: Dogs.

• Curiosity - they say “curiosity killed the cat,” but, in my experience, dogs are infinitely more curious. . .at least when it comes to sniffing other dogs’ butts - advantage: Dogs.

• No. of lives - alright, I think this one must be awarded to cats - you know, the whole “nine lives” thing - advantage: Cats.

• Fighting spirit - you’re familiar with “mad dogs,” “rabid dogs,” and “junkyard dogs?” Those monikers imply toughness, no? “What about cats,” you ask? All I can say is that there is a certain epithet used to imply lack of toughness, which is derived from an alternate name for a cat - I decline to highlight that term here, inasmuch as it should not be repeated in polite company - advantage: Dogs.

Well, that’s a pretty comprehensive scorecard, in my opinion. And, I’m sure that you would agree that dogs can deservedly claim the title of “World’s Best Pet” (look for that coffee mug to replace The Office’s Michael Scott’s “World’s Best Boss” mug in retail stores everywhere).

Although, if I were you, I’d keep an eye on chinchillas - they seem like crafty little buggers.

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