"So, we agree, we're gonna' name it after a Mexican beer, right?"
An inside look at how epidemics/pandemics are named.
The emergence of a deadly virus worldwide two years ago highlighted the most pressing issue tied to such occurrences: what to call them? Clearly, the guidance offered early in the game by a senior White House counselor, who indicated that we were dealing with the 19th in a series of such viruses should have informed our decision-making and responsiveness to this threat (Wait, what? You say that COVID-19 was so named, as a contraction of “Coronavirus Disease 2019,” because the disease was first detected in the year 2019? Well, that changes the calculus here pretty significantly, doesn’t it?).
There were also ethnic slurs deployed to refer to the disease, tied to the apparent region of origin. Attempting to tie new viruses to a region of origin is nothing new. The 1918 influenza epidemic was commonly known as the “Spanish Flu,” not because the epidemic first surfaced in Spain (the first known case was tagged in Kansas, but, honestly, how many of us would have gotten excited about the “Kansas Flu?”), but because Spain was the only country honest enough to report about the outbreak. The U.S. (which counts the state of Kansas among its holdings), France, Germany, and the U.K. each opted not to share this bad news, because they were participants in World War I (which was not yet referred to as World War I, because, why would it be, if there wasn’t a World War II? Much as Efrem Zimbalist Sr., a famous Russian-born violinist, wouldn’t have been known as “Sr.” until there was an Efrem Zimbalist Jr., an American actor, beginning in the 1950’s, including starring in 77 Sunset Strip), and each country’s wartime censors endeavored to spike any negative news, including the rise of a deadly new virus, which would ultimately kill more than twenty million people worldwide.
Epidemics, and pandemics are not typically scheduled in advance. “I’m sorry, we’re waging a war at the moment - perhaps we could pencil you in for, say 1924? Oh, wait, we’ll be in the throes of rampaging gangsters at that time - maybe later in the 1920’s would be more convenient for all of us? Just, you know, stay away from 1929, because we’ve planned a massive stock market crash, and our 1930’s schedule is jammed with Great Depression activities. Come to think of it, the 1940’s would be much more convenient for us - our planner looks wide-open at this point.”
Also, lying about wartime activities is a storied tradition in many countries; remember The Pentagon Papers?
Now, you may think that the headline of this column is the most amusing turn of phrase you’ve ever encountered (What’s that? You’ve seen better? Alright, I’ll treat that response as a teachable moment, and try to do better), but the reality (and, by “reality,” I mean to say “popular myth which was subsequently debunked”) is that, early in the pandemic, American beer drinkers reported that they wanted nothing to do with Mexico’s popular Corona brand of beer, because they associated it with the Coronavirus, and Corona’s sales suffered significantly as a result. Snopes.com, in response to the query, “Did Corona Beer Sales Drop Sharply Due to Fear About the Coronavirus? provided the following:
Rating
False
Wikipedia helpfully provides a list of epidemics/pandemics, and highlights nineteen of them, which killed more than one million people each. A more comprehensive list includes 251 different epidemics, ranging all the way from the 1350 BC plague of Megiddo, to 2022’s Monkeypox outbreak, a span of 3,372 years, if my math is good, or an average of one epidemic every thirteen years or so. By the way, do you have a clue as to where Megiddo was? Nah, me neither. Absent the 1350 BC plague, you and I probably would have encountered it in school somewhere down the line.
The deadliest epidemic, according to Wikipedia’s list, was the Bubonic plague, also known as “Black Death” (not a bad name for a band, but, I would argue, an even better choice for a professional wrestler), which wiped out an estimated 75-200 million people, in the middle-1300’s.
Next on the list is the Spanish Flu. HIV/AIDS (beginning in 1981) checks-in at number four, followed by COVID-19, at number five - evidence that epidemics/pandemics are not ancient history, but remain current threats.
The word “plague” is sprinkled liberally amongst the list of 251 distinct epidemics, including the aforementioned Bubonic plague; this mantle is particularly evident in the earliest outbreaks detailed. One of the epidemics that caught my eye was, “Sweating sickness,” an epidemic noted in the late 1400’s in England, and across Europe - I’m not gonna’ pretend that I don’t fear this one a little bit - I mean, I, myself sweat at times, and I know that this thing happened a long time ago, but, you never know. . .
Another one, which surfaced in 1854, in London, was titled, “1854 Broad Street cholera outbreak.” I presume that the “1854” in the title refers to the year of the epidemic, and not a specific house address on Broad Street. In any event, that’s a really geographically-specific disease. And, having lived in Philadelphia, I thought the toughest thing anybody faced on Broad Street was the Philadelphia Flyers NHL hockey team, in the 1970’s (a/k/a the “Broad Street Bullies”). I don’t know about you, but if I became aware of this epidemic back then, I’d identify a different route home from school, which avoided travel on Broad Street - problem solved.
A couple of fairly recent epidemics have been tagged with animal names: 2009’s “swine flu pandemic,” and the newest epidemic appearing on the world stage: “Monkeypox virus.” Swine flu is so-named, because, “The virus appeared to be a new strain of H1N1 that resulted from a previous triple reassortment of bird, swine, and human flu viruses which further combined with a Eurasian pig flu virus, leading to the term "swine flu". Ah, that’s why. . .
And, monkeypox earned its name, because the disease is transmitted by men having sex with monkeys. I’m just kidding - please, no emails and letters of protest - it was a joke - actually, the disease is transmitted from monkeys to men who took them out on a date one time - dinner and a movie, and promised to call, but then never did, and really there was no legitimate reason for the men not to call - I mean, they seemed to have a really nice time, pleasant conversation, and then, nothing. . .
As I consider what the next great epidemic should be called (and, trust me, there will be a next great epidemic), I believe an early contender should be, “Aunt Jemima Virus.” I mean, the longtime fictional character established to hawk pancake mix and syrup has essentially been retired, and has been replaced by “Pearl Milling Company,” an homage to its original owner, although, curiously, the name Aunt Jemima still appears on the packaging (although not the character’s image). But, Aunt Jemima continues to enjoy strong brand awareness - you and I had both heard of it, right? I welcome your alternate suggestions. . .
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