Spring Forward
Effectively leveraging the daylight savings time shift.
Most countries in the world utilize the daylight savings time strategy, in which time advances by one hour in the spring (“spring forward”), and retreats by one hour in the fall (“fall back”). I wanted to use “spring ahead,” because that phrase seems pithier than “spring forward,” but it was abundantly clear in “search engine land” that “spring ahead” was the preferred option. Here at “Rule of Three land” we’re nothing if not observant of social mores. These daylight savings time shifts effectively plunge morning commuters into total darkness in the spring, and provide the same service for evening commuters in the fall.
In the United States, and in many other countries, this daylight savings time “adjustment” occurred a week ago. In reviewing the mission statement ascribed to Rule of Three, we find no mention whatsoever of informing the public of a pending time adjustment; we leave that service to the professionals, which includes mainstream media outlets, the publishers of Farmers’ Almanac and the U.S. Department of Transportation (that’s actually true - since 1966, it has been the responsibility of the U.S. Department of Transportation to regulate daylight savings time).
So, as you can plainly see, it is not our responsibility to inform you of daylight savings time adjustments. No, as you might recall, our founding principles include:
Secure a beverage
Don’t be a douchebag
Amuse yourself
In accordance with those principles, we will instead use the remaining space in this week’s column to poke fun at the concept of daylight savings time, which originated during World War I as an attempt to conserve fuel and power. That goal appears to no longer be relevant; numerous studies have identified no measurable impact upon fuel and power usage, nor any other metrics, for that matter, as a result of the daylight savings time strategy. Benefits for farmers are also sometimes cited as a compelling reason for daylight savings time shifts, but, apparently farmers are universally opposed to it - it screws with their dairy cows’ biological clocks.
No, we believe the primary goal to be screwing with commuters and their ability to navigate in darkness.
So, if you were late for work, or school or roll call in prison last week, that’s on you, not on us. And, no, in answer to your question, you do not need to awaken at 2:00 a.m. to reset your clocks - that clock on the bedside table isn’t going anywhere between 2:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m. - it’ll still be there at 7:00 a.m. . . .although is it really 6:00 a.m. or 8:00 a.m.? Besides, most clocks these days adjust to the proper time automatically, eliminating the need for you to manually reset them.
Let’s shift our focus to what can be sacrificed to that lost hour in the spring, and to what can be captured during that “bonus” hour garnered in the fall.
I think we can all agree that we would gladly forego time spent in the dentist’s chair; if we’re going to lose an hour, that’s one we’d like to see go.
How about time spent preparing your income tax return? Again, I believe that most of us would agree to offer up an hour of that time. Perhaps the I.R.S. could trim their 1040 form a bit, yielding a new and improved “1039” form.
Allow me to propose another task which, if alleviated, would no doubt improve our overall personal satisfaction: the viewing of political content on broadcast or cable news shows, or the reading of such stories in newspapers, on websites and in blogs and podcasts. Those knuckleheads, from across the political spectrum, don’t deserve our attention; they serve only to inflame and incite, not educate and inform.
In the fall, as we enjoy an extra hour in our day, there are several amusements which spring (forward, not back) to mind.
Activities of a carnal nature would likely attract near-universal assent. Other pursuits for which I would vote “yea” include: watching college basketball (particularly in March - it’s Madness, man!); relaxing in an easy chair with a good book; sipping a fine, single-malt scotch, with a “big cube” on board; and, listening to a selection of Steely Dan’s musical offerings. And, of course, let the record reflect that I led my list of things I’d like to spend an extra hour doing with: dining out with my wife; spending time with my grandchildren; and volunteering my time in support of worthy charitable organizations, in the event any of them are reading this column.
Now, that’s me. As they say, actual results may vary. Perhaps the list of things which you would freely give up, or which you would seek more of, during the semiannual time shift, contains different activities (although I cannot understand anyone passing on hoops, a good book, a single-malt scotch and Steely Dan) than my choices. Please feel free to reflect your options in the comments section below.
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I remember when daylight saving time was first initiated in Alberta, when I was a kid. At the time, it was very obvious what purpose it served. "Spring forward" gave us the opportunity to finally walk to school in the daylight, rather than in the dark. It felt like a real novelty!
I think daylight saving time serves more of a purpose in the Northern Regions, where an extra hour of daylight improves quality of life for some people.
I've been a Texan for almost four decades now, and I have yet to see any practical function for daylight saving time here in the South. In Texas, the hours of light and dark don't vary as much as they do in the Northern Regions.
These days, the clocks on my computer and my iPhone keep me on track with the time and date, so I hardly notice the shifting back and forth of daylight saving time.
Our Texas Longhorns manage the time changes easily. So our cows are daylight savings savvy.
When I was a kid I took daylight savings time very literally. I went outside with a jar, captured some daylight, screwed the lid on and saved the daylight in my closet.