The Key to Success in Business Revealed
A best-selling business management handbook reflects support for Rule No. 2.
Forget about Clayton Christensen‘s theories on disruptive innovation, and Tom Peters’ In Search of Excellence, and Toyota’s just-in-time manufacturing philosophy - the most critical business management imperative, in my humble opinion, is that elucidated by Robert Sutton, in his 2007 book, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t.
How do you know so much about assholes in the workplace? you might ask. I have never personally encountered the type of colleague Sutton highlights in his book (according to legal counsel, apparently, and even if I had, as I have established in previous columns, the statute of limitations regarding any discussion of these types of issues is, at minimum, forty-five years); but, you know, I hear stories, and I read things, including The No Asshole Rule.
You will note that Sutton and I refer to these toxic employees by different names: Sutton smacks you in the face with, “Asshole,” whereas my Rule No. 2 brands them with the much-more-restrained, “Douchebag.” “Tomatoe,” “To-mah-toe,” as they say. Also, according to Shakespeare, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet;” that quotation seems quite appropriate here, no? My high-school English teachers would be very proud - you can’t go wrong quoting Shakespeare. It’s been awhile since I’ve curled-up with Shakespeare, but he was prolific, and I have no doubt that he included at least a couple of assholes amongst his many memorable characters.
Notwithstanding a couple of high-profile successes logged by those Sutton terms “Certified Assholes” (Sutton’s short-list includes Steve Jobs, Michael Eisner, and, in an indication of how quickly portions of a fourteen-year-old book can be rendered obsolete, Harvey Weinstein - ouch!), he believes that the presence of assholes (or, douchebags if you prefer), creates a toxic environment which will destroy the organization, and its members.
Sutton provides common-sense strategies for preventing assholes from entering an organization, and also for minimizing the deleterious effects such colleagues or managers will have on your personal career-growth and general well-being. And, I’m sure that, if I had actually encountered one in the many organizations with which I have been associated during the course of my nearly forty-year professional career (how’s that, Mr. Legal Counsel?), I could offer advice as well. That advice would likely have taken the form of: work somewhere else; jettison all assholes from the company (if you’re in a leadership position); and minimize contact with assholes (to the extent possible).
Remember the old Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoons, in which the cartoon would freeze, while a made-up Latin name was assigned to some character in the cartoon? (I’m pretty sure they were made-up, because I watched a lot of Saturday morning cartoons, and I took three years of Latin in high school, and didn’t recognize a single one of those Latin names). Well, I believe that the asshole in the office should be dubbed, “Toxic Posterium Maximus.” Additionally, although “Toxic Posterium Maximus” is by far the most dangerous threat to an organization’s success trajectory, you will no doubt recognize a couple of other common genuses (or is it geni? Three years of high school Latin takes you only so far; I am pretty clearly not indicating geniuses), which can also have a severely negative impact on an organization, including:
“Sycophantimus Obsequia” - the insufferable suck-up.
“Laborius Non Industrium/Productimus” - the lazy and/or incompetent worker.
“Nepotismus Inadequa Payrollium” - the idiot nephew (or, niece, or son-in-law).
Yes, there are many ways to destroy an organization, but the presence of assholes is the surest method. So, don’t let this happen to you - ensure that you religiously observe Sutton’s “No Asshole Rule,” and also continue to follow Rule No. 2. . . .and, it wouldn’t hurt to follow Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 3 as well.
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