This 2012 Ford Fusion achieved a significant milestone the other day, enjoying rarefied air which welcomes few other vehicles: 200,000 miles!
Now, I’d like to claim full credit for reaching this level, but in fairness, Ford Motor Company played a role in enabling this step, by providing me with the infrastructure necessary to succeed. Although, much like an absentee father, their role was completed pretty early in the game, upon handing me the keys to the car, in exchange for hefty loan payments for a number of years; seems a bit like alimony, in reverse. After that, I’ve been the one steering the car forward on its long journey (pun not intended, but neither did I remove it). Which has not been without its travails. There was that time, early in its first year, when the car was t-boned while getting onto the highway. And, replacement of tires, brakes, and a handful of other things over the years. And, that whole 2019 air-conditioning fiasco. Come to think of it, perhaps the t-boning contributed to its longevity; as with the Six-Million-Dollar Man, maybe it was rebuilt better than before.
And, I’d also like to suggest that we (the car and me, that is) owe it all to championship living, and regular oil changes, and ever-vigilant maintenance, but the reality is that I practice the same sort of benign neglect regarding my vehicles as I have applied to raising our three children: I will reluctantly drag the car into the shop only after experiencing a steady diet of at least three warning lights on the dashboard. And yet, the car has persevered.
Lou Gehrig was known as “The Iron Horse”, owing to his having played in 2,130 consecutive major league baseball games between 1925 and 1939. That impressive record held until it was broken in 1998 by Cal Ripken, Jr., who logged 2,632 straight games played. Gehrig replaced Wally Pipp at first base in the Yankees lineup that first day of the streak. Pipp reportedly begged off that day due to a headache, and was thereafter left out of history, as Gehrig powered his way through an exceptional career with the Yankees, and a life cut short by the disease which bears his name. Gehrig’s story received a boost from the release in 1942 of, “Pride of the Yankees”, starring Gary Cooper as Lou Gehrig - it’s quite an emotionally draining movie.
This car’s “Wally Pipp” was a 2000 Chevrolet Malibu, which, if memory serves, clipped past 120,000 or so miles - respectable, but hardly in the same weight class as the reigning champion Fusion. It met its demise early in 2012, after also being struck from the side. I know what you’re thinking: This guy certainly finds himself in a remarkably-frequent series of car crashes. I would argue that neither of these encounters were my fault, but the State of Michigan might take issue with that characterization of the first one. In any event, the insurance company considered the Malibu to be “totaled,” and I grieved and moved on. The Malibu, having toiled for twelve years, had been showing its age. It was sporting numerous rust spots, and I had invested heavily in various components over the years, to keep it on the road. Although in denial, I think I knew the end was near.
Not so with the Fusion. It’s got “good bones,” which is to say, it is rust-free, and runs pretty smoothly. In fact, there’s no reason that it can’t keep going and going and going, like the fabled Energizer Bunny. The real question ahead of us is a casting question: Who will be cast as the principals in the “Pride of the Assembly Line,” when the movie of this Fusion’s incredible journey is inevitably produced? Clooney is the obvious choice to play me, if he’s available. As to the leading-car role, it’s more difficult to select a car to portray such an iconic character. Popular Mechanic’s list of top movie car stars include: the 1964 Aston Martin featured in the James Bond classic, Goldfinger (too high-class); Smokey and the Bandit’s 1977 Trans Am (too good-old boy); a 1932 Ford featured in American Graffiti (too old); the DeLorean used in Back to the Future (too high-tech); and the 1968 Ford Mustang driven by Steve McQueen in Bullitt (now, this might be the one - it’s even from the same family).
I know you join me in rooting for continued success for the “Steel Horse” (I know, I’m not crazy about the nickname either, but let’s workshop it, and see what happens). I look forward to the day in which the odometer pictured above reflects a “3”, rather than a “2”; and, I’m not talking about 200,003 miles - you know what I’m saying.
Permit me to highlight three things we’ve learned from today’s column:
Go to work even if you have a headache - you don’t want to be Wally Pipp, and you never know where the next Lou Gehrig is lurking, ready to step in.
Practicing benign neglect sometimes works out.
T-bones are terrific on the grill, but not so good for cars.