Welcome to Rule of Three
The Rule of Three is a writing principle that suggests that a trio of events or characters is more humorous, satisfying, or effective than other numbers.
The definition of the Rule of Three reflected at the top of this column was lifted from Wikipedia. So, I have no cause to doubt its authenticity. I have long been a fan of this rule, and have utilized it in developing a set of principles by which I conduct my life. Simply put, my rules consist of the following:
Rule No. 1 – secure a beverage.
Rule No. 2 – don’t be a douchebag.
Rule No. 3 – amuse myself.
Adhering to these rules has enabled me to live an enjoyable, satisfying life. Don’t worry, I’m not dying, at least as far as I know. Therefore, this piece doesn’t represent getting my affairs in order, or providing some sort of deathbed confession. Rather, launching this column is an attempt to remain true to my principles (that is, I’m sipping an ice-cold, Diet Coke as I write this, and, even though no one else is here with me at the moment, I believe that I am not actively violating Rule No. 2, and, I’m enjoying the exercise itself). The more challenging question to be answered will be: do you, the reader, find this column to be humorous, satisfying, or effective?
I’m sure you can think of many “threes” which resonate with people. Think about, “Father, Son, and Holy Ghost”, or “The Three Stooges”, or “The Three Musketeers”, or “Three Little Pigs”, or “Three’s Company” – the list goes on and on. Which is why I believe the well is unlikely to run dry, as I strive to “hit the three” every time down the court (you see what I did there? A “three” analogy, lifted from basketball).
My pledge to you is that I will pay heed to the Rule of Three in each column crafted. Never mind that the connection to the rule might be tenuous, or difficult to detect; adherence to the rule is strictly a judgment call – mine. As to content, I feel empowered to comment on anything which strikes my fancy (see: Rule No. 3). A voracious reader, and a longtime employee in the newspaper publishing business, I might provide my reactions to a current news story. Or, as a family man, I might share impressions of activities in which my children or grandchildren are engaged. On the other hand, having only been married for thirty-six years, I feel wholly unqualified to offer advice regarding relationships, or on the inner workings of the female mind. So, if that’s what you’re after, you’ll have to turn your attention elsewhere.
And, naturally, when you encounter a brand-new Rule of Three column, you can choose one of three options:
Read it, and admire how humorous, satisfying, and effective it is.
Decline to read it, and continue living your joyless, unsatisfying life.
Read it, and respond angrily in the comments section, highlighting your objections.
What? You expected more? Rule of Three, my friend.