When Every Day is "Bring Your Dog to Work" Day

Local businesses include on-site canine colleagues.

I’ve noticed more dogs in the workplace lately. Maybe it’s because recruiting and retaining talent these days is a challenge for many businesses. I don’t know.

There is a local, family-owned auto-repair shop, which hosts the fattest beagle I’ve ever seen, named “Rocky,” who wanders around the garage, but likely spends most of his time crashed in a doggie-bed in the corner (maybe get out and chase birds on occasion, Rocky, eh?).

And, my dry-cleaner boasts a yappy, little dog, who is perched atop a tall cabinet behind the counter (too tall for him to jump to the floor), armed with all the accoutrements of home, including a water bowl, some kibble, and a squeaky toy. How do I know that he is a pure-bred “Yappy” you might ask? You might further ask, “Is there such a breed of dog as a Yappy? Well, the exhaustive research performed by the Rule of Three research team reveals many dog-centric businesses utilizing the name “Yappy.” Ipso facto, Yappy exists (How do you like me flaunting my three years of high school Latin? That phrase, in case you’re wondering, translates to: “By that very fact or act” - my mantra is: “I took three years of high school Latin so you don’t have to”). And, as opposed to Rocky, who rarely even lifts his head to acknowledge your presence, this yappy, little dog (whose name I don’t know, so let’s just call him, “Yappy”) loudly proclaims your presence as you enter the dry-cleaning shop; his presence renders the bell attached to the door-handle redundant.

I have to imagine that these two creatures are not the only dogs who spend time “on the job.” Perhaps it’s appropriate to consider those dogs who actually provide a “fair day’s work for a fair day’s wage,” to paraphrase a labor movement mantra, which first surfaced in the 1880’s. Ed. note: Caution: this piece is likely to include anthropomorphic characterizations which some sensitive readers might find disturbing; it’s important to note that use of this storytelling tool should not be attempted by laypeople - please leave such literary gymnastics to the experts.

You’re no doubt familiar with the formulaic gangster movie conceit featuring three brothers: one a gangster, another a cop, and the third a priest. Consider how dogs might play a featured role in such a saga.

Garden-variety drug dealers, gang leaders, and auto junkyard operators routinely employ vicious dogs trained to attack intruders and perceived enemies. Similarly, law enforcement have their own cadre of canine officers who are trained to sniff out drugs and help locate missing persons. McGruff the Crime Dog, Scooby-Doo, and Huckleberry Hound, are three fictional pooches who also come to mind. McGruff and Scooby-Doo are each focused on battling evil; Huckleberry Hound is simply a cool dude. As for the priest, perhaps having a dog lounging at his feet in the rectory might prevent his involvement in other, more harmful, distractions.

But, back to real-world businesses. And, real-world dogs. I believe that a barber shop is a natural home for a dog. Not a Great Clips, but one of those old-fashioned, small places, with a barber-pole out front. Although I don’t ever recall seeing Floyd the barber, in The Andy Griffith Show, hosting a dog in his shop, even when big city sharpies were engineering a scam right under his nose - perhaps a dog might have sniffed-out trouble from those visitors, and prevented a negative outcome.

And, a hardware store, now there’s a place for a dog. Not a Home Depot, mind you, but one of those cramped, old places with wooden floors, where you can buy a very specific screw for 4-cents.

I also believe a ski resort should have a canine mascot. Certainly, a St. Bernard would come in handy on the slopes, properly equipped with a small cask of brandy around his neck, but other large dogs, such as a Labrador, a Golden Retriever, or even a Labradoodle would seem quite at home romping in the snow.

Another familiar workplace in which dogs have been spotted for some time is the White House. Most presidents have owned dogs, with one recent exception. Even Nixon had dogs during his time in the White House - a possibly apocryphal story suggests that he was gifted with a dog, in an attempt to make him appear more human. One wonders, with these four-footed residents spending time in the Oval Office, with its bright blue rug, how many gallons of carpet-cleaner we taxpayers have paid for over the years.

But it shouldn’t be all work and no play for our doggie friends. A night out with the boys is a well-earned respite for this gang.

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