"As Seen on TV"

The products which were seen on TV. . .at 2:00 in the morning.

If you found yourself awake at 2:00 in the morning in the 1980’s and 1990’s, you would no doubt have encountered Ron Popeil, an inventor of countless gadgets and a relentless marketer of products in television commercials aired at that time of day. Popeil’s line of memorable products included: the Veg-O-Matic, the Pocket Fisherman and Mr. Microphone, and spawned an industry that endures to this day, with the tagline, “As seen on TV.” Here is a classic Mr. Microphone commercial for your viewing pleasure. . .

In order to cement his legacy, Popeil branded the company he founded in 1964 with his name. I’m sure you’re thinking, ah, he must have named the company, “Popeil Industries, Inc.,” or “Popeil & Sons, Inc.” or “Popeil-O-Matic Manufacturing” (a nod to his prolific use of the “O-Matic” suffix appended to many of his creations). Wrong! Popeil instead turned to his first name, “Ron,” dubbing the company, “Ronco.” Can you think of any other companies which connect their heritage to the founder’s first name? A few examples were surfaced by the crack research team here at Rule of Three: Barneys New York was founded by Barney Pressman in 1923; Ben & Jerry’s was founded by Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield in Vermont in 1978; and, Dick’s Sporting Goods, was founded by Richard (“Dick”) Stack in 1948. But, as I’m sure you can appreciate, there are many more companies sporting the last name of company founders than first names. Not to mention a couple of companies which were named in honor of daughters: Wendy’s, named by Dave Thomas for his daughter Melinda Lou (“Wendy”) Thomas; and Sara Lee, christened by founder Charles Lubin as such for his daughter Sara Lee Lubin.

I have no idea whether these types of commercials air at 2:00 in the morning now, because, you know, I’m sleeping at that time of day. But, I can attest that they did run frequently years ago, and, they seemed to become more visible during holiday time, preying on last-minute Christmas shoppers’ angst regarding securing that perfect gift for a loved one. Some of the more memorable product offerings included:

• Ginsu Knives - remember the commercial featuring a guy delivering a karate chop to a stack of boards and then attempting the same maneuver on a tomato? As you might imagine, knives are better suited for the latter task.

• Life Call (24-Hour Emergency Medical Response System) - “I’ve fallen. . .and I can’t get up!”

• Chia Pet - “The pottery that grows.”

• The Egg Scrambler - another product brought to you by the tireless Ron Popeil, this one purported to scramble an egg while the egg was still in its shell - wait, what? Was that a perplexing problem simply begging for a solution?

• Great Looking Hair (“GLH”) - apparently, spray-painting your scalp was yet another solution provided by Ron Popeil, this one developed to deftly cover bald spots, and, ensuring, according to one satisfied customer that, “The BABES are back!”

• Ronco Bottle and Jar Cutter - development of this product must have occurred prior to President Nixon’s signing into law the Consumer Product Safety Act (“CPSA”) in October, 1972, because this frightening product aims to enable hobbyists to turn empty wine bottles and glass jars into drinking glasses and craft items. What could go wrong?

• The Clapper - are you so lazy that you can’t be bothered with switching off the light? Well then, have we got a solution for you. . .

And, those were the mainstream “As seen on TV” products. There were many others, some of which have been memorialized in a piece on Ranker.com, entitled, “The Weirdest ‘As Seen on TV’ Products.” Having reviewed the list of twenty-six items included there, I have no words:

Now, it’s likely that, like me, you have never purchased a single one of these products, and further, that you are not aware of any human being who has ever purchased a single one of these products. And yet, “As seen on TV” persists - I’ve seen that logo perched atop shelves in retail stores - it’s true!

Then perhaps we can agree that the “As seen on TV” tagline should be modified to read, “As seen on TV. . .at 2:00 in the morning.”

Of course, inveterate readers of Rule of Three will recognize that I had my own brush with “As seen on TV” activities (a/k/a “Direct response marketing”) - feel free to relive that experience here. . .

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