Born to Run

This column is not about Springsteen.

I have long embraced running. . .when being chased. But, even though I am not a runner, several of those close to me are passionate about running, including my daughter, Emily, who is attempting to inculcate in her eldest daughter, Nora, who is not yet three years old, a passion for running, just recently enrolling her in a competitive running race in Pittsburgh, in which she came in first in her heat. . .twice. . .because the rules regarding repeat participation were a little loose. No, I’m not going to share pictures of my adorable grandchildren with you, because there was no appreciable “lift” in readership the last time I did that, so, what’s the point?

Runners speak of the “runner’s high,” a euphoric feeling experienced while running, that is related to the release of endorphins; young runners, such as my granddaughter, Nora, might also realize a runner’s high, but rather than endorphins, the connect-point might be the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (Dated reference? What do you mean that’s a dated reference? I was just trying to slip in something that rhymed with endorphin).

But, even those who engage in running only when being chased have a personal connection to running.

Let’s start with Bruce Springsteen (I know, I said this column wasn’t about him; he is merely making a cameo appearance here): he was Born to Run; and, Jackson Browne was Running on Empty; Paul McCartney & Wings were clearly a Band on the Run; Jefferson Starship was a Runaway; The Doobie Brothers climbed aboard a Long Train Runnin’ (admittedly, not a person running); Bryan Adams wanted to Run to You; Chuck Berry urged Santa’s reindeer to Run Rudolph Run; and eighty three other musical artists also baked running into a song title, according to spinditty.com, which, due to my limited musical repertoire knowledge during the last thirty years or so, I was unable to recognize.

Also, the Jamaican bobsled team adopted Cool Runnings vibes during their chase for Olympic glory in 1988; Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal were Running Scared; Arnold Schwarzenegger became The Running Man, rather than the weightlifting man; we also were Running with Beto (apparently, a 2019 documentary regarding Beto O’Rourke’s 2018 U.S. Senate campaign in Texas - what’s that, you missed that one? I think it came up empty at The Oscars that year); cartoon chickens ran in Chicken Run; submarines Run Silent, Run Deep, as you know; thirty became the new “dead” in Logan’s Run; mobsters like to practice late at night in Midnight Run; Burt Reynolds indulged his obsession with racecars in The Cannonball Run; and, ranker.com included another one hundred fourteen movie references, which is kinda’ disappointing to me - I mean, I knew I hadn’t kept up with musical trends, but, I see a lot of movies, and was a bit dismayed to learn that I’ve never heard of many of them.

A character in a John Updike novel encountered a midlife crisis in Rabbit, Run; laypeople sometimes characterize diarrhea as the runs; people with a death wish engage in the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain; those who experience the end of something good, say, “Well, we had a good run.”; convenience is the watchword at the chain of convenience stores named, On the Run; sports teams with a comfortable lead sometimes attempt to run out the clock; if you’d like to determine how people feel about an issue, you might run it up the flagpole and see who salutes; those who have no discernable skills oftentimes decide to run for office; calling customer service to solve an issue usually results in our getting the runaround; waffling on an issue constitutes running hot and cold; sullen teenagers sometimes resort to running away from home; bosses may indicate that you should run by them a decision before implementing it; a difficult challenge may give you a run for your money; a baseball player who ignores the third base coach’s signal to stop at third base, and continues on towards home plate (where he will likely be tagged out) has run through a stop sign (this phrase can also be used more literally, when driving a vehicle); when you are endangered by a tough guy, you might be prompted to run for your life; practicing something before doing it for real is termed a dry run; leaders are sometimes described as running the show; let’s hope they don’t run out of steam (perhaps furthering the railroad theme introduced above by The Doobie Brothers); and, the Chicken Run chickens should fear running around like a chicken with its head cut off; average, run of the mill quality is to be avoided; depending upon your time horizon, you might wish to project results in the short run, or in the long run; also, you can run, but you can’t hide (unless you’re playing hide-and-seek); to relax, you might decide to run a bath; but, if you drag toy boats into the bath, be sure they don’t run aground; as you look to beat the hapless competition, you could be said to be running circles around them; at Churchill Downs every year there is a run for the roses; perhaps someone has suggested to you that your uncanny ability to [fill in the blank] runs in the family; belaboring this ridiculous premise regarding the ubiquity of the word “run” might be running it into the ground, and you might believe that it had run its course; but, even if it’s running on fumes, or running itself ragged, I plan to continue; aren’t you glad I took a run at it?

“Why,” you might ask, “did you write this column about running, given that you are not a running enthusiast?” I defer to the wisdom of Forrest Gump, who was a lifelong runner, and who said quite simply (a case could be made that everything he said was said quite simply), “I just felt like running.”

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