One to a Customer

Posterity grants only one defining characteristic to each of us.

How do you want to be remembered, after you’re gone?

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you can only choose one thing for which you will be remembered. And, you might not even get to make the choice; others might make that choice for you. So, choose carefully (or, if others might make that choice for you, live your life in an exemplary manner, such that others will be visibly impressed, and remember you for something awesome you have accomplished - this advice is pretty much the opposite of the old adage, “Dance like no one’s watching.” Now, I’m a ballroom dancing award winner (Gus Giordano 8th Grade Dance Class - Kenilworth, Illinois - 1973), so, I’ve got the bona fides to pull that off, but, I suspect that a very small percentage of Rule of Three readers share that talent, which is why I encourage you to follow the former advice offered (the exemplary manner thing), rather than the latter (the dancing thing)).

We here at Rule of Three were a bit dismayed to learn this bitter truth about singularity, because our entire belief system revolves around the number three. And, included among those guiding principles is the faith in our fellow man’s ability to recall three things easily, including defining characteristics, accomplishments and shoe-sizes of famous people, or people to whom they are close.

No clearer set of examples of this dictum is available than in a select group of founding fathers of the United States. Take George Washington, for example. Do you remember Washington as being a Revolutionary War hero, or our first President, or being featured on the one-dollar-bill? Of course not - the first impression that springs to mind is of a young George Washington, and the cherry tree incident. I’ll grant you that wooden teeth is a close second, but almost nobody brings that up anymore.

And, there’s Alexander Hamilton. Sure, he was the first Secretary of the Treasury, and authored many of the Federalist Papers, and was killed in a duel with Aaron Burr, but, I would argue that his legacy is being a featured character in a hugely-popular Broadway musical, developed by Lin Manuel-Miranda.

Thomas Jefferson, another of our country’s founding fathers, could have hung his hat on his work writing the Declaration of Independence, or creating his iconic home in Virginia, Monticello, or executing the Louisiana Purchase, during his presidency, but, unfortunately, he is best-remembered for his intimate relationship with Sally Hemings, one of his slaves.

Surely Benjamin Franklin, a prolific inventor, statesman and intellectual, would be remembered for his many contributions to mankind, you might insist. Ah, but no, Franklin’s enduring image is that of a man flying a kite in a thunderstorm - sorry, Ben.

Let’s jump ahead to a president of more recent vintage: John F. Kennedy. Among Kennedy’s memorable achievements, there was his PT-109 World War II heroism, the Cuban Missile Crisis, and his assassination in Dallas on November 22, 1963. So, why is he only remembered for banging Marilyn Monroe? Because, apparently, we are unable to ascribe more than one defining characteristic to a person, and, let’s face it, the intersection of JFK and Marilyn is a trump card.

How about in the world of sports? One example is the recently-deceased former college basketball coach, Bobby Knight. He led the Indiana Hoosiers to three national championships, was widely-acknowledged to be an insufferable bully, and initiated verbal and physical assaults against his players and others, but, what do you think of when you think of Bobby Knight? That’s right, throwing a chair across a basketball court in a fit of pique.

Another figure in college sports was Woody Hayes, the longtime coach of Ohio State University’s football team. Buckeye fans might be able to surface positive attributes to associate with Woody, but, as an inveterate University of Michigan supporter, I am unable to identify a single one - to me, Woody will forever be the guy who punched an opposing player in the throat at the end of the 1978 Gator Bowl.

In order to cleanse our palate after reporting on those two disgraced sports figures, let’s turn our attention to a true icon from Major League Baseball: Babe Ruth. Babe Ruth was bigger than life, and, he holds a special place in the heart of Rule of Three, because, you guessed it, he wore number three with the Yankees. Ruth’s legacy is also a number, 714, which is the total number of homeruns he hit during his illustrious career. That total stood as the record for many years, until it was eclipsed by Hank Aaron, who ended up with 755 homeruns, and was later exceeded by Barry Bonds, who ended his career with 762 homeruns. But, his outsize persona continues to cast a shadow; I see this picture of Babe Ruth, and I think, 714.

Now, the die was cast for me way back in 1973, but there’s still time for you to make your mark in society, and influence how others will remember you after you’re gone. The choice might be yours (or, it might not be), and you can decide if you will be remembered for a cherry tree, or a kite, or for being memorialized on Broadway by Lin Manuel-Miranda. Just, you know, refrain from “Dancing like no one’s watching,” because that is the exclusive province of the “ballroom dancing award winner in the Gus Giordano 8th Grade Dance Class - Kenilworth, Illinois - 1973.”

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